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Archive for August 2013

Wedding Tips from Ghana

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Thursday 1 August 2013 by Renee

This post actually relates to an experience from a few months ago - in an attempt to post more regularly and to get through the backlog I think I'm going to start having a few flashback posts now and then....

Also this was inspired by an email exchange with one of my dearest friends Brooke, who will be getting married next year. As one of the bridesmaids, I would otherwise be trying to help her and Lyndon with wedding plans, alas I'm on another continent, which often feels like another world away. It certainly feels like another world away when I try to make up for my absence by searching wedding blogs to find bridesmaid dress ideas and find hilariously overstylized nonsense such as this angel-inspired wedding. Seriously, who would do that? Because I want to punch them. ANYWAY.

So one of the recommended cultural experiences here is attending a wedding, funeral and outdooring (naming ceremony). In Ghana, and from I hear most other places in Africa, weddings don't really have the "exclusive invite" vibe that happens in the west. Which works out great, because no one bats an eyelid when their friend invites some obruni colleagues they've never met. Well that's not entirely true, but only because the presence of obrunis generally leads to a lot of excitement anywhere, rather than it being strange to invite ring-ins to weddings. 

So a couple of months ago a colleague invited us to her friend's wedding, thus Adam and I got to tick one of the cultural "must-dos" off our list. I figure it's also helped tick off some of my bridesmaid duties, right Brookles? What I've summised from this and other experiences is that joy is pretty high on the priority list for Ghanaians.  While their Western counterparts are wondering how to attach wings to themselves and how to get the forlorn/hipster/contrived romance balance just right, Ghanaians are asking, "How can I make this even happier?", "Is it bright enough?" and "Will people have fun?".

So ladies and gentlemen, I present to you ten hot wedding tips from Ghana:

1. Pick a nice bright colour theme like lime green, and stick to it. Voraciously.

2. No stone should be left unwrapped in this chosen colour. Not even your ushers, gifts, pillars, guests, choir, or praise choir
3. Have a praise choir
4. Have dancers
5. You can never have too many indoor garden arches, and indoor garden gazebos

6. Encourage guests to attend in the chosen colour, especially in matching Nigerian lace material.

7. Have at least 12 ministers/pastors, the main one being a caricature of Whoopy Goldberg, who likes to use her booming voice to say "By the lurve of Jay-sah-hus" frequently

8. Encourage the frequent use of whistles (like umpire whistles) amongst your guests. They come in handy for creating atmosphere at key points in the ceremony

9. Every song should lead to a mosh pit of dancing at the front of the church, and people dancing up and down the aisles

10. Give up on any idea of timing, running sheet etc. People will show up when they arrive, and leave when they feel they've shown their respects enough. Dancing and singing their way out. In fact, it's common for weddings to not start until three hours after the intended starting time (people will phone the bride and tell her not to come until the church is full).

Seriously though, praise choir - amazeballs. Not just singing, but randonly punctuating the service with "Ahy-mennnnn", "Alle-lujaaaaaa" and "Ahaaaahh"

Adam and I were both coming down with colds at the time, but it was still a serious amount of fun.  At the end, when everyone lined up to thank/congratulate (and in our case, meet) the bride and groom, with everyone dancing while they wait their turn, my colleague reprimanded my dancing style- "Renee, we do not Azonto in the church" she said sternly. After we said our greetings, people were congregating and dancing azonto style in the space next to the bride and groom. As we went to walk through the group I casually pulled out a few moves, which had more or less the entirety of what was left of the party in hysterics - "Obruni is dancing, Obruni, can you Azonto?" - to which of course I had to pull out my best Azonto moves. Rule number one of being a foreigner in Ghana: all interactions lead to you being an azonto-dancing performing monkey.


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